Disapproval Derails Relationships

Pay attention to your communication cues today. They have power to build up or to tear down. You choose.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.” Ephesians 4:29-30a

Disapproval is a deadly thing that can creep into your relationships without you even realizing it. From simple things such as how a child does a task that doesn’t quite meet your expectation, to looks and attitudes of general displeasure with those around you, daily disapproval can wear a relationship down. Over time, disapproval can completely derail it.

Sighing, rolling your eyes, shaking your head, and withdrawing warmth in your own attitude all convey annoyance when your expectations have not been met in the way you think they should be.

People aren’t perfect. There will be times when issues are important to discuss – but at the right time and in the right way. It’s the issues that aren’t so important that often blow into winds of disapproval stemming from simple annoyance or your own need to control.

Let God’s wisdom guide you in being aware of when you are projecting disapproval. It truly is deadly in its quiet erosion. Listen to your words as you interact. Pay attention to what your non-verbal cues are portraying.

Ask God to help you understand the needs of the other person and then to consider those before your own. This is not easy; yet when disapproval has become a cycle in your relationships it needs to be broken. Take the first step and choose to be a builder.

Heavenly Father, Please forgive me for grieving You with the negativity I can too easily portray. Help me to hold my tongue when I want to be accusing, whiny, or defensive. Help me to choose communication, both verbal and by my actions, that build up the relationships I want to cultivate. Help my own defenses to come down as I allow You to work in me to dissolve disapproval in my responses. Thank you that Your power is available to me to choose to be a builder. When issues do need to be addressed please help me to do it in a wise and loving way. Thank you for Your wisdom. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

Listen to your words today. Pay attention to the non-verbal cues you are giving. Be honest with yourself and determine to derail disapproval before it derails you.

by Gail Rodgers
Used by Permission

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