My Husband No Longer Loves Me and is Going to Leave

A Letter to all Women who can say

‘My Husband No Longer Loves Me and is Going to Leave’


I am SO very sorry and sad that you have to go through this….it really is a pain that only those who have experienced it can possibly understand.  I’m not sure (obviously) what you have gone through up to this point and whether or not you have been praying and hoping for the continuance of your marriage.  I am sad also, because of how I know that this affects children (even if they are older).   

My husband told me he no longer loved me in the same month I found out that my Dad was dying of cancer.  He stayed in our home while my Dad lived with us the last six months of his life on earth.  Needless to say, this time was impossibly painful and I remember that I walked “numb” through most of those months.  I found it hard to believe that both “deaths” were happening.  We had been married 37 years and I was so looking forward to our years of retirement together.  Unfortunately my husband was involved with a woman in his office (to whom he is now married) and had no interest in preserving our marriage or working to repair past hurts and damage through marriage counseling.  There is more of a back story….other women….and I thought we had survived….and his unfaithfulness was part of the past, but…..

Honestly, I don’t know how anyone survives without knowing Jesus and trusting that HE is in and over all of it and will work “all things for our good”….eventually.  I just hung on to the Lord…I spent so much time reading God’s word…especially in the Psalms, reminding myself of the truth…I had for many years memorized scripture and so many verses came into my mind and I held on tight to those promises.  I remember Hebrews 12 held special meaning for me…reminding me to look ONLY to Jesus and keep my eyes on HIM and try very hard NOT to compare, or look at other people’s lives…it says “let us run OUR race with patience (NOW that is hard!!!), looking to Jesus the author and finisher of our faith”….and remembering that “without faith it is impossible to please God”…imagine that WE have the opportunity (AND ONLY here on earth) to PLEASE GOD…by trusting HIM.  That was the word I heard SO many times when I asked the “WHY??” question.   The Lord just said to me over and over….”Mary…just TRUST ME.”   I also realized that I was given the privilege (although it didn’t seem like a privilege at the time…), of understanding just a very tiny part of the same kind of pain that the Lord experienced….of “being despised and rejected”.  And I came to see that even Jesus had an unanswered “Why”…on the cross.  He held me close during all those years…and HE will you too! 

The Lord became My Father (my earthly father had just died), My husband (mine had just left me) and My Best Friend!

by Mary Willis
used by permission

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