Category: <span>thoughts by Skip Moen</span>


Marriage is a deliberate commitment to stick together. It is not based on emotional, physical or psychic attraction.


Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.Genesis 2:24

Cleave – You’ve probably heard this verse at least one hundred times. Every wedding, every sermon about marriage, every book and video from a Christian perspective ends up with this verse somewhere in the subject matter. But what no one told you is that the Hebrew verb here is not the one we would have expected, especially if we thought that becoming one flesh had anything to do with sex. If you really want to see what God has in mind, you’ll have to do some deeper investigation.

The verb here is davaq. It means cleave or cling. It’s about stickiness. But it probably isn’t the verb we would have used. You see, davaq is a middle of the road, passive response verb, best suited for gluing things together. It isn’t the passionate, relationship-oriented verb that characterizes the love action we want in erotic intimacy in marriage. In fact, it’s more about sticky wet clods of dirt (Job 38:38) or fastening crocodile scales (Job 41:9) than it is about passionate, sexual embrace. You won’t find davaq in the Song of Solomon. So, why does it show up here, in the quintessential verse about marriage? And why has every pastor who has ever given a wedding sermon using this verse avoiding talking about dirt clods?

If we look at the way davaq is used when it describes relationships between people, we see that it can describe both friendly and hostile circumstances (Laban and Jacob). It describes relationships between members of the same sex (Ruth and Naomi). In Wisdom literature, it parallels ahav (to love – Proverbs 18:24). We see it used to describe Israel’s relationship with YHWH (Jeremiah 13:11). This wide range of applications tells us something important. Davaq does not carry the emotional, erotic, passionate nuances we expect. Davaq is about deliberate commitment. Even when it is used in hostile circumstances, it is about willful, considered attachment. Ruth, Laban and the men of Proverbs are not making choices based on emotional overload. Neither does YHWH. God’s choice of Israel is deliberate, calculated and permanent. It is the ultimate example of stickiness.

This helps us understand why Genesis 2:24 uses davaq, not hashaq (the verb for adhering to someone in love). Marriage is a deliberate commitment to stick together. It is not based on emotional, physical or psychic attraction. It has very little to do with how I feel. That’s why marriage in the Torah can be arranged by the families without any interaction between bride and groom. Marriage is covenant activity. All the other expressions of love that we so commonly associate with our view of marriage really don’t matter. What matters is the glue.

Next time you hear about the twenty-nine areas of compatibility, smile! Glue comes in only one flavor. Oh, by the way, did you notice that it is the man who does the sticking?

By Skip Moen
Used by Permission
Hebrew Word Study | Skip Moen

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Further Reading

•  Sacred Romance  by Katherine Kehler

•  Marriage Articles

•  Salvation Explained


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Thoughts by Men thoughts by Skip Moen


“Let your way of life be free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5


Are you Content?
How’s it working out for you?

Has it been a tough year? Have you struggled? I have. Maybe most of us have. We all know economic woes, but in the long run, those don’t really matter too much, do they?

The things that really bother us are usually far more personal than our money.

In fact, if money is so personal in your life that it rises to the top of the list, then it’s probably time to read this verse again. The real point of this verse is contentment. That’s the biggest struggle for most of us. We are a long way away from the prayer of the sages:

Lord, make my heart so malleable that I am ready and willing to accept whatever You provide for me.

We need to learn contentment. I suppose that process is very much the same as the one which says,

And He learned obedience through suffering.” (Hebrews 5:8).

Frankly, contentment is impossible unless I trust the Lord.

That’s why the author of Hebrews points us toward His faithfulness. How can I be content if I think contentment is about anything except His faithfulness? If my contentment rests on any other foundation, I will be disappointed, won’t I?

This is a good time to reflect on the truth that whatever the world provides, it can repossess (with interest).

A life built on sand is a life built on people, possessions and power. It’s wonderful when you have these things but they are merely blessings of His grace. In the end, life must be built on something more solid than blessings. The rock-bottom of contentment is the fact that He will not forsake us, even when everything else seems to evaporate.

The Greek verb here is arkeo. It is essentially the expression of being satisfied with the provision of God. “My grace is sufficient” is exactly the same concept (and word). God provides.  How He provides and what He provides is not my concern.  My concern is simply that He does provide and I am called to rest in that truth. 

The real character of my life is reflected in the foundation of my rest.

May I be restless to do His will and to rest in Him. This is the sacred balance: that His purpose becomes my driving force and His character becomes my contentment.  The entire message of Scripture can be read in these words:

May I find rest in You, O Lord.

Do you need a New Year’s resolution worth pursuing? Try this  Rest, O my soul, in the graciousness of God.

by Skip Moen
Used by Permission

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Further Reading

• Secret of Contentment – by Phil Ware

Peace and Contentment – A Poem to God by Margaret Mullings

Secret Power – by Roy Lessin


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Thoughts by Men thoughts by Skip Moen

I will rejoice and be glad in Your loving kindness, because You have seen my affliction; You have known the troubles of my soul.” Psalm 31:7 (NASB)


Known  “Omniscience“. Oh, it’s a great doctrine. God knows everything that can be known.  It’s a significant statement about the scope of His observation and understanding. But it’s kind of sterile.  It’s one of those big ideas that lends itself to debates like, “If God already knows what I am going to do tomorrow, can it really be my free choice“?”  I wonder if David ever concerned himself with such cognitive issues.  David’s approach is far more personal.  God knows the troubles of my soul.  When it comes to my relationship with the Lord, this might be all I really need.

The verb is quite familiar.  Yada covers the widest range of knowing in Hebrew, from knowing the facts about the enemy army to knowing the sexual intimacy of marriage.  It’s worth reflecting on this range.  We have many distinct verbal expressions for different kinds of knowledge.  We categorize our information.  There’s a box for facts, a box for opinions, a box for theories, a box for observations, a box for involvements, etc.  Nice, neat compartments where we can “know” the right thing in one area but never let it touch the things we feel or observe in another area.  But yada reminds us that everything is connected.  It isn’t possible to “know” something and keep it neatly separated from the actions that make up who we are.  If God knows the troubles of my soul, certain implications about this fact must follow.

God knows my tsarah.  He knows the distress I encounter, the adversities I face, the troubles life hands me and the vexations that plague me.  God knows these things.  That does not simply mean He observes them as facts. Yada-ata.  He knows them.  He experiences my troubles.

Think about this.  When I weep, is God weeping with me?  When I rejoice, does He dance?  When I shake with fear, is He there beside me?  When I battle with decisions, does He fight for the right?  Yada says “Yes.”  The full range of relationship dynamics is known to Him.  He is not the God of disengaged research or the moral policeman.  He is as close as my breath, my sight, my thoughts and my sighs.  He is the God in my need.

Would it make a difference in our struggles for righteousness if we contemplated the God of yada?  Would we feel His comfort, His guidance or His warning just a little more intensely if we engaged the Hebrew umbrella of knowing.  David worships a God who is intimately involved in life.  He doesn’t sit on His throne in Zion waiting for quarterly reports on our progress.  He sits by our side, asking us to lean on Him.  He is the ezer‘, the benefactor who comes to our aid in times of need.

By Skip Moen
Used by Permission

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Further Reading

•   Your Father’s Heart Longs for You

•  How to Spend a Day With the Lord

•  Salvation Explained


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Thoughts by Men thoughts by Skip Moen

binoculars eye vision

It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was in order that the works of God might be displayed in him.John 9:3

Displayed – Who is  blind in this story?  It isn’t the man at the side of the road?  It is the disciples of Jesus.  The disciples saw only the pitiful condition of the man born blind.  They did not see what Jesus saw.  God put this blind man in their pathway in order that blind man might minister to them.  The disciples asked about the cause of his blindness.  They wanted to blame someone.  But Jesus saw the purpose.  The  purpose of this blind man was to give those who had eyes the ability to see.

The Greek word here is phaneroo.,  it means, “to make apparent, visible, or known.” It is the perfect word for the blindness of the disciples.  They had sight but they could not see.  Jesus revealed to them a truth much deeper than the issue of blame.  He led them to open their eyes to the opportunity of God.

A servant leader must have eyes that “see” the opportunities to reveal God’s glory.  Many times those opportunities present themselves in unexpected ways.  A blind man does not appear to be a likely candidate to demonstrate sight.  But God is not limited by human conditions.  We are blind only if we do not see who He is.

We have two choices here.  We can see what the disciples saw. Problems, impossibilities, blame, despair, and sin.  Or we can see what Jesus saw.  God at work!

Having eyes that receive images makes no difference at all unless we know what we are seeing.  The servant leader is constantly looking for an opportunity from God. A problem is a potential victory.  The impossible is divinely routine.  Despair is the doorway to hope.  Sin is the schoolteacher of forgiveness. Blame is the backhand of purpose.  “It all depends on how you look at it.”

What do you see?

By Skip Moen

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Skip Moen, author of “Words to Lead  By”
http://skipmoen.com

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