A Bible Study on Colossians – Part 13


This is Part 13 of a 15 part Bible Study on the book of Colossians.

Compiled and written by Norma Becker – a true woman of God and God’s word.

FREE – Printable e-book version


Part 13 – Leadership Qualities

Now this application becomes even more practical and specific. It talks about everyday relationships. It talks about living with our family and working with people. These things may not apply to you but you may be able to help a child, a friend or a co-worker deal with a relationship by using Christian principles.

Qualities of a good leader are: showing compassion, leading by example, caring and showing concern, being a servant, encouraging in private and in public. Who puts forth the most effort – the leader or the follower? Who sets the example first? In all relationships, is the responsibility on the leader or the follower? Keep these questions in mind as we go through these next verses. Also think about how radical this teaching was for the time it was written.

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favouritism. Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven” (Colossians 3:18-25; 4:1).

Reciprocal Obligation

The first thing about this new Christian ethic was that it talked about reciprocal obligation. The duties are never just on one side. Husbands had as great an obligation as wives; parents had just as binding a duty as children; masters had their responsibilities as much as slaves. This was entirely new thinking.

Under Jewish law, a woman was a thing. She was the possession of her husband. She had no legal rights whatsoever. In Greek society, a respectable woman lived in seclusion. She was to serve and be faithful to her husband. On the other hand, her husband was free to do whatever he chose to do. Under both Jewish and Greek laws and custom, all the privileges belonged to the husband, and all the duties to the wife.

In that time, children were under the domination of their parents. The father could sell his children into slavery or make a slave of them for himself. All the rights were with the parents, and the duties with the child.

Most of all this was true for the slave. The slave was a thing in the eyes of the law – even more so than with the wife. There was no such thing as a code of working conditions. Even the children of a slave belonged to the master. Again, all the rights belonged to the master and all the duties to the slave.

Here comes this Christian ethic of mutual obligation – mutual responsibility. It is not “what do others owe to me?” but rather “what do I owe to others?”

In the Lord

The really new thing about these new Christian thoughts was that all relationships are “in the Lord.” The whole Christian life is lived in Christ. The wife is loved as Christ loved the church. Children are treated as God treats his sons and daughters. For master and servant, the relationship is that both are servants of one and the same master – Jesus Christ.

Since Christ is to be in all personal relationships, the slave must be a conscientious worker. Christianity must make him a better and more efficient slave. Christianity didn’t offer him an escape from hard work or from difficult situations, it just enabled him to meet them better.

Under Roman law a slave could not possess any property, but here he is being promised the inheritance of God and that the time will come when the balance sheet will be adjusted. Any wrongs will be corrected and faithfulness will be rewarded.

All the work must be done as if doing it for Christ; however, the master has to remember that he too has a master – Christ. He is answerable to God, just as the workman is answerable to him. The master is only a steward of God’s business. God is in charge and the master is responsible to Him. This teaching doesn’t seem radical to us – it just seems like the right things to do.

Submission and Respect for Each Other

One verse that has always caused discussion – even outrage among women is Colossians 3:18:

“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

Many women cannot see themselves submitting to anyone and on the other hand, many husbands use this verse as an excuse or justification for tyranny or abuse. No one seems to read the next verse and connect it with the first:

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” (Colossians 3:19).

They say, “Sure, I love my wife, I married her didn’t I?” They don’t take into account that this word for love is “agape.” This is the Christ-like kind of love that is willing to give totally of themselves for the good of the other – and ask nothing in return.

The context shows that the wife’s attitude is prompted and warranted by her husband’s unselfish love. The submission is to be voluntary. The wife’s submission is never forced on her. Submission does not mean inferiority; it simply means that the husband, not the wife, has the responsibility for the home and family life. When there is a choice, someone has to make the final decision and then take the responsibility for the carrying out or the consequences of the decision. If both partners are truly going to live by Biblical principles, I would much rather be a wife than a husband.

However, there are moral limits to this submission. It says, “as is fitting in the Lord.” In other words, a wife is not obligated to follow her husband’s leadership if it conflicts with specific scriptural commands.

Again, this is not the only place these principles are taught:

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22).

But then it goes on in verse 25:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy.”

Then verse 28 & 29:

“Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church.”

Then verse 33:

“…each on of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Christ Gave His Life for the Church

According to this Ephesians passage, the wives are to submit and to respect their husbands. Husbands are to love their wives – to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Christ loved the church so much that he gave His life for it.

There are husbands who say, “Sure, I’m willing to die for you, but don’t ask me to give up something I want to do or to do something for you.”

Christ said He didn’t come to be served, but to serve. So a husband should be willing to sacrifice himself for her; he should make her well being and self esteem of primary importance; he should care for her as he cares for his own body. God did not give authority to the husband so he could order anyone to serve him.

The word “husband” means, “band to hold the house together.” The husband is the God ordained caretaker who is to lead, to provide for and to love his family. In other words, a man has no right to ask for submission if he is not willing to abide by the Biblical commands to him.

Both partners have to have this same understanding of their roles in a Christian marriage. That is why God commands that a Christian not marry a non-Christian. (2 Corinthians 6:14) God wants to save his children a lot of heartache.

Now on to Children

Verse 20:

“Children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”

To go along with this:

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother — which is the first commandment with a promise — that it may go will with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1-3).

What is a child’s responsibility to his/her parents? How will this affect his/her relationship to God? How is this pattern for a child a good preparation for life? What is likely to happen to a young person who has never learned to respect and respond to authority?

Now on to Parents

Verse 21:

“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”

See also:

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

What obligation does this requirement that children obey their parents in everything, place on parents? Obedience is to be complete – in everything. As with husbands, there is taken for granted that there will be the correct Christian attitude and behavior by the parents. Parents should deserve rather than demand obedience. The purpose of parental discipline is to help children grow, not to exasperate or provoke them to anger or discouragement.

Slaves and Slavery

This next section is about slaves and masters so we can ask, “Isn’t slavery wrong?” What about slavery in the New Testament? From passages in the Bible you can see that it was not condemned nor was there an attempt to abolish it. Do you think Paul – and Jesus – were wrong in not denouncing slavery? Why do you think this was?

The apostles, were not social reformers; they were first and foremost bringers of the good news of salvation in Christ. They were a small minority in the Roman world, and there was no hope that their stand on the matter of slavery would influence Roman policies. They would have been quickly put down by Rome.

In fact, in the book of Acts, Paul points out to the authorities that Christianity has not been involved in treasonous activity and should not be accused of that. Also, believers are told to obey their rulers and to accept the legal order of things even though it might not be satisfactory in many ways.

Their economic, social and monetary systems were not like ours today. What would have happened if, all of a sudden, a large proportion of people were set free…without jobs, food or shelter, and no way of making a living?

Rather than trying to exercise revolutionary power, Christians taught a transforming power. As this transforming power took over and slaves and masters begin to see themselves as brothers and that each was made in the image of God – the divisions couldn’t continue.

Bringing About Amazing Grace

Newton – the one who wrote Amazing Grace – was a slav r. When he became a Christian he realized that it was wrong to continue that trade – so he quit. Becoming a Christian did not release them from their though. God had promised them a new Spirit, not a new social order.

This is why Paul neither condemns nor condones slavery. Instead, he tells masters and slaves how to live together in Christian households. Masters and slaves were appropriate for that time and culture, but now we can substitute employer and employee. There is always going to be differences in social status, even though all believers are in Christ.

Verse 22-25:

“Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favouritism.”

In our day, these instructions can be for the employer and the employee – whether in households or in the work place.

Let’s look over verses 22-25 and see what principles for the work place we can find.

A new attitude. The motive for work is to come from the heart – rather than the outward need for recognition and praise. Apparently as non-believers their desire was for human approval. Reverence for the Lord is to be the motivating factor.

They were to have a new center of reference. Paul is saying, “In spite of your position, you are serving Christ and not men.” Work should no longer be a drudgery done without enthusiasm – but done as if you were doing it for the Lord.

Look back at verse 17:

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus.” While working for any employer, whom are we really serving?

They now have a new reward and that will come from the Lord. What difference should these principles make in the quality of their work? In their attitudes to unfair treatment?

Masters and Overseers

Then comes Colossians 4:1 and the instructions to the overseer or boss:

“Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.”

Christian masters should be different people because of their relationship with the Lord. They too have a new center of reference and because of this are called upon to demonstrate fairness and justice toward those who serve them. They too have a Master in heaven.


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